Bed is a little bit colder without her here in it tonight. 

“As he descended from the high of penetration, he looked deeply into her eyes and saw that such a temptation was a mask for the spirit of the devil, the fallen angel his mother warned him about.” 

“As he took another hit of the potent marijuana, lifting him higher than the clouds. High into a space where he could touch the bronze foot of Jesus Himself.” 

You can’t take that away from me.

I never wanted to be anything like my father. I wanted to make sure I never made the same mistakes that he made. I wanted to be a better man than he ever dreamt of being. But sooner or later, the past became the present. At some point, the lessons I wanted to avoid became the essence of who I became. At one point or another, I lost my way. And now seems to be the time where I have to get it together. The time has come where I can’t keep running from what’s been chasing me since I was a boy. I looked outside today and the ground was white with snow. The sky was gray, filled with nothing but clouds. Stepping outside the wind was piercing, cutting deep into my skin as it hit my neck. I could bundle up as much as I wanted, but there was no way that I’d be able to escape the cold air. I was born in it. I was raised in it. To escape it at this point might very well be impossible. But to give up now would be too easy. Fear is consuming me though. Facing it all feels like it might be too much for me right now. The chills up my spine as I think about it makes me feel like I’ve never felt before. I wanna run from the feeling but it’d be too easy. I think it’s now or never for me. My time is running out; I can feel it. If I don’t make the change now then I’ll probably never make it. And if I never make it then I’m not sure if this life has been worth all the time and effort. The women have come and gone. The good times have come and gone. The bad times sure have come and gone. The alcohol wasn’t the trick. The weed wasn’t the trick. Only one thing left: I gotta face the music. I gotta look at the man in the mirror. It’s the only way that I can be happy. It’s the only way that I can find the happiness that I need. I gotta have the peace. I gotta have the comfort. Life ain’t been what it’s supposed to be, but I can make the change. I know I can. I just need a little time. I just need a plan. I just can’t let this opportunity pass me by. The time is now. And I love this moment. 

- David